Is Dating a Waste of Time?

Growing up, I've often been told that the first guy isn't the guy I'm going to marry and often, looking at urge high school relationships, I agreed. What I'm starting to realize though is that no one knows my future and nor do I.

Here's the thing, if I believe that the first guy I date isn't the "right" guy, then why should I date him? And if I don't date because the first guy I date I don't believe could be my husband, then how will I ever find the "right" guy?

Some people would answer with, I won't, you're father will decide for you. An arranged marriage is ideal for some religions/people, just not for me. I'm not condemning arranged marriage, I'm just saying it's not for me.

Other people will say, I'll know when he comes. So, I'm just supposed to expect some random guy to walk up to me, ask me to marry him, and I'll just automatically know that he's the guy I am to marry? Sorry, that just doesn't make sense to me.

So, it boils down to is, is dating a waste of time? The answer? It depends on a couple of things.

1) Does the guy treat you right when you are together? If he does, then okay, it is worth the time because you aren't being torn down each time you see him. If not, then ask yourself why you still hang out with him. Do you like the way you feel when he treats you poorly? Chances are, probably not.

2) Do the two of you share an emotional connection? Some girls date guys because they think that sex means love. That isn't always the truth. Other girls date because they like sex. There isn't anything wrong, necessarily, about being physical as long as you both also share an emotional connection. Do you miss him when he's not around because he can make you laugh? Does he miss you in a similar fashion? Relationships built on physical connections won't last and probably aren't worth the time. Relationships built on emotional connection will as long as you are both open with each other.

3) When you miss each other, do you miss the other person (like his smile or the way his eyes light up when you walk into the room) or do you miss the physical pressure of having sex with that person? If it is the sex you miss, the relationship probably isn't worth the time in the long run. If it is his smile or his laugh, that relationship with most likely last longer and therefore is worth the time.

No, I don't know if the first guy I date is the "right" guy. I don't know if the second guy is the "right" guy. I do know, though, that if he makes me happy by just being around, if i miss his smile and his gorgeous eyes, and I know what we share feels right not because of physical circumstances, then the relationship is not a waste of time.