I'm Starting to Realize...

Like most other little girls, I often played house with my baby dolls; pretending to have a family or taking care of a baby. By the time I reached middle school, dating had become a popular topic for discussion. Everyone was talking about who was dating who, which couples had been together for a while, which ones had broken up and why, as well as the things that may (or may not) have taken place in some of the relationships. I often heard the girls gushing about their boy saying things like "I love him" and "We are never going to break up." Know how many of those middle school relationships I was always hearing about still exist? None.

I wasn't against the idea of dating in middle school or even high school. My thought was I didn't want to be in and out of six, or more, relationships by the time I graduated high school. I have always been a long-term, dedicated, serious relationship kind of gal. Additionally, my education is important to me and I didn't want to get into a relationship with a clingy boy who would, potentially, take me away from my studies. Besides, all the boys I knew where just that, immature guys who didn't understand what it meant to love someone.

Okay... To be fair, I didn't really understand what it meant to love someone either when I was a freshman. I had an idea of what it was but, that was an idea based off of romance movies like the ones on Hallmark. Even still, I'm almost positive that was a better idea of what love was than anything the boys had. And, of course, I had this "perfect boyfriend" image in my head too. This image was made up of all the characteristics that I wanted my boyfriend to have; the characteristics coming from the things I want my future husband to have. Yes, I knew full well that the chances of finding someone that fit every single desire was slim to none. But, it is good to know what you want and not just settle for anything. I had long list of things I wanted in my boyfriend (Mature, respectful, funny, thankful, understanding, sympathetic, etc.) and was expecting him to have at least 90-95% of the characteristics on the list. But, I found someone who changed that....

There is something about being emotionally hurt that changes the way people look at love. For me, my emotional hurt came from the young boys who only wanted me in their lives to fill a physical craving called sex. I never dated them because sex is something that I have always seen as special and something to be done with your spouse. For my boyfriend, his was the feeling of being used since he was cheated on a few times. For both of us, the hallmark definition of love is only part of it.

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly five months now and I'm starting to realize that love is the bond and connection of two hearts in a way that makes it hard to be away from the other person. It is a desire to be with them even if the two of you aren't agreeing with each other or are fighting with each other. Love is wanting the other person with you all the time because they make you a better person and you can't imagine your life without them. Disagreements are going to happen, they do in every relationship, but if taken care of properly, those disagreements bring you closer to each other and make your relationship stronger.

Even though he isn't everything I imagined he would be, my boyfriend is everything I ever could have asked for realistically and so much more. I love him with everything in me and I can't imagine living without him. He is my "Forever Love" "Always and Forever"